The Christian media response to secular rap music was DC Talk.
The Christian media response to secular horror novels was Frank Perretti.
The Christian media response to YouTube was GodTube.
It was only a matter of time before there was a Christian media response to the summer hit, Stranger Things.
Gospileaks, the Christian media version of Wikileaks, has released this secret memo that was just sent to Moses Wesley, the CEO of the Koinonia Faith and Family Media Entertainment Group. Apparently, Peculiarer People (the Christian version of Stranger Things) has been greenlit and currently in preproduction.
Read the details below.
A one-hour thriller/drama concerned with life in the small town of Moriah, New York and the unusual things that happen there.
When a young boy disappears, his widowed mother, a pastor, and his homeschool friends must confront frightening spiritual forces in order to get him back.
Chapter 1: The Rapturing of Mark Falwell
1984, the Moody family basement. Four homeschooled boys are sitting in the basement, listening to Petra’s “More Power To Ya” [note: there are so many opportunities to take advantage of nostalgia for early 1980’s paraphernalia with this show idea – need to schedule a meeting with Lifeway and Family Christian bookstores to figure out how to cross-promote], while playing DragonRaid. [note: A Christian role-playing game that was popular in the 1980’s. They’ll be happy to bring it back, I’m sure]
The boys, all about age 10, are MATTHEW MOODY, MARK FALWELL, LUKE WHITEFIELD, and JOHN MCGEE. They are typical 10-year-old homeschooled children: respectful to parents, polite to each other, bright but not proud. In the game, they are using Scripture memorization in adventure campaigns, and in this scene, they are encountering the wicked dragon Abaddon, which they are fighting by quoting Scripture passages.
Their game is interrupted by Matt’s mother calling him to dinner. The boys are disappointed, but immediately obey the mother and pack up the game, putting everything away nicely. The boys go to leave, and in the process, we meet Matt’s sweet and friendly sister, HOPE, who – sitting on her bed cross-stitching, waves to them as they pass her room. The boys thank Mrs. Moody for her hospitality and then get on their bikes to ride home. [note: lots of good opportunities to model appropriate behavior and healthy family life here. Cross-promotion with Focus on the Family?]
The boys are laughing joyfully and singing songs together as they ride home. First, Luke peels away as he reaches home, then John, until Mark is riding by himself in the darkness. The lights on his bike start to flicker, and then suddenly a menacing, dark figure stands on the road in front of him. Shocked, Mark crashes his bike in the forest and takes off for home on foot. When Mark arrives home, he opens the door to find the house empty. He locks the door, and then glances at a note on the refrigerator to see that his mother and older brother are at a Bible study.
He’s home alone.
Mark picks up the phone as is about to call the Bible study when the barking dog draws his attention back to the door. The shadowy figure can be seen through the fogged glass window, and it uses some sort of diabolical supernatural dark magic to open the lock from the outside. [note: will have to figure out how to film this so it’s not too scary for our family audience] This sends Mark scurrying out the back door and into a little shed. He looks around desperately for anything to help him. The only things are an old dusty Bible and an old Psalty toy. He grabs them both and then falls to his knees and begins to pray. The lights start to flicker in the shed, and then with one final flicker off and then back on, the shed is empty.
Mark is gone.
[Cue Title Card]
The next morning, the scene opens with our first view of PASTOR ZECHARIAH TAYLOR. He’s brushing his teeth, looking at himself in the mirror, humming “Sweet Hour of Prayer.” To establish that he is the pastor, he should be shown putting on a pastor’s collar.
Next, we are back in the Falwell house, where we meet Mark’s mother, ELISABETH FALWELL, who is talking to her son, AARON FALWELL. Turns out that when they’d returned home from Bible Study, they’d both assumed the other had checked on Mark. And now, he’s not in his room. Considering that Mark never disobeys, Elisabeth calls Mrs. Moody to see if Mark had been invited for a sleepover.
The Moody’s are having a nice breakfast together [none of that frustrating Spielbergian dysfunctional family going on here – the children are listening and respecting the parents, the mother is preparing a lovely breakfast, the father is leading the children in morning devotionals] and Mrs. Moody tells Elisabeth that Mark had left promptly at 6:30 as had been agreed. Elisabeth’s concern grows. She prays.
The next scene shows the homeschool boys arriving at the public library to study together. As they lock their bikes, they are approached by two young bullies, LOT and JUDAS, who start to make fun of the boys’ faith – as evidenced by their “The Lord’s Gym” t-shirts [note: check and see what sort of Christian t-shirts were sold in the mid-1980’s. We want to be accurate here]. The boys – struggling with meekness and confidence issues – are too timid to stand up for themselves, and so they let the boys bully them. Having won, the bullies finally leave.
Cut to the public school, where we find Hope (who, being older, has started attending a public school part time) walking down the school hall with her accountability partner, DORCAS. Hope is confessing to Dorcas that a boy named Ace Temptor has been talking to her, and had even asked her on a date to help her study for her Christian history test. Dorcas is righteously angry, since Ace is a well-known womanizer who doesn’t attend church, and she and Hope had taken an abstinence pledge together. Hope is defensive and denies that anything bad will happen. Dorcas knows better, but Hope has changed since starting public school. As Hope walks away, Dorcas prays for her.
Now we see the steeple for Mt. Moriah Community Church, where Pastor Taylor is the minister. As he enters his office, his secretary hands him a cup of coffee and tells him that Elisabeth Falwell is waiting for him in his office. Pastor Taylor goes to her (leaving the door to the office open, of course) and listens to her story. Elisabeth is concerned that Mark is gone, and Pastor Taylor suggests that perhaps he is at the Christian bookstore reading or listening to the latest CCM cassettes. Elisabeth wonders if Mark could have been raptured, but since no clothes were left behind, the pastor says he doubts it. They pray together.
We go to The National Institute for Atheist Science Research, where the atheist scientists are putting on protective suits and descending down some dark stairs. The leader of the atheist scientists is STEPHEN DAWKINS, a serious and humorless man, and right now he is especially upset. There is no prayer here, only hard and cold science. The scientists enter into the darkness of a big room and find their worst nightmare, a giant squishy gross demonic-looking substance. [note: we’ll definitely need some money for SFX]
This brings us to the introduction of another very important character, a mysterious girl who doesn’t talk. She is walking through the woods getting hungry [note: symbolizing spiritual hunger? I’ll talk to my nephew] when she comes upon “Ten Boom’s General Store and Bible Wholesaler”. When she goes into the store, she is tempted to steal some food, but upon seeing a Bible, changes her mind and approaches the sweet old lady working the cash register. The old lady, FANNY TEN BOOM, has pity on her and gives her some food.
Back in the library, the boys are interrupted in their diligent study by the friendly librarian, MR. LOGOS. Mr. Logos invites the boys to come back to his office, where he shows them his new ham radio, and they discuss how they can use it to encourage missionaries all over the world. But their excitement is interrupted by the arrival of Pastor Taylor, who says he needs to talk to the boys. The pastor takes them to the librarian’s office, where he asks them questions about Mark’s disappearance. He recommends that it would be better if they didn’t go looking for their missing friend, which puts the boys in a quandary as they balance their respect for authority and their desire to find Mark.
Ten Boom blesses the food the mysterious girl has in front of her, and then as the mysterious girl eats, the old woman tries to get her to talk. She asks the girl’s name, but the girl can’t answer. The old woman notices that the girl has a tattoo of a dove on her arm, and the mysterious girl indicates her that the tattoo is her name. Ten Boom calls a local Christian homeless shelter and tells them about the girl named DOVE.
In a strange dark room full of atheist scientists, they are listening to phone calls over sophisticated scientific equipment. They listen to the old woman’s call and then dial 666 on their inter-office phone. Dawkins picks up the phone, and he smiles wickedly. They’ve found the girl!
Pastor Taylor comes to Elisabeth’s house and starts to look around, trying to figure out what might have happened to Mark. She shows him the shed where Mark disappeared and finds – under some straw, and under a shaft of light – a small Psalty toy. The lights flicker and the camera shows Pastor Taylor sensing something in his spirit. “I need the church’s help on this one,” he tells Elisabeth, rushing out heroically to make some phone calls.
In the Moody home, the family is eating dinner. The father says that after dinner he will be joining the church search party to help look for Mark, and Matt continues to be bothered by not being able to help. They have a conversation about authority and respect. Hope, meanwhile, is struggling because she likes Ace, but she knows he’s also such a bad influence. She asks a question which leads her father to tell the story of his coming to Christ, a transformative experience that changed him from a hopeless sinner to a responsible family man. Hope makes the decision at that point that she will try to share her faith with Ace, no matter what – that she will save him. And simultaneously Matt makes the decision to help find Mark, no matter what. [note: they are both acts of defiance that will have consequences later on – bad choices that will earn good lessons]
After dinner in his bedroom, Matt uses his walkie-talkies to contact Luke and John. They decide to meet and look for Mark, even though it is disobeying their parents. Over the walkie-talkie, Matt prays for forgiveness, even while feeling that God will understand. Matt takes off on his bike, but as he’s leaving, he sees Ace climbing the frame of the house into Hope’s room. This is bad, but Matt doesn’t have time to counsel his sister. He rides off into the increasing gloom to find his friend.
Up in Hope’s room, she is working on her Christian history homework when there is a tap on the window. She’s shocked (but secretly happy) to see Ace outside, and she lets him in, where he promises to help her study her Christian history homework. It’s a perfect opportunity for Christian witness, she thinks. She doesn’t realize that Ace has other plans. Inappropriate plans. [note: a good lesson about opening the window of your heart to let Satan into your house]
Back at Fanny Ten Boom’s store, there is a knock on the front door. Ten Boom opens the door to find a representative from the Christian homeless shelter, who smiles and asks about the mysterious girl named Dove. But it’s not really a representative from the Christian homeless shelter – it is an evil atheist scientist looking for the mysterious girl. The evil scientist knocks the old woman on the head and she slumps to the ground. The mysterious girl goes running, but is cornered by two more evil scientists. She focuses her energies on them [note: good time for more SFX – “Stranger Things” goes too subtle on this part, we need to have a glorious light shining from above, perhaps the sound of angel voices?] – cries out “No weapon formed against me shall prosper! ISAIAH 54:17!!!” and the two evil scientists fall to the ground, unconscious. Dove runs out into the forest. Dawkins steps out of the general store, looking into the woods, scowling evilly.
Meanwhile, the boys have reached the spot where Mark disappeared, and they start looking for him, while the rain begins to fall.
Back at the Falwell house, the phone rings, and Elisabeth picks it up. There are strange sounds, like devils playing ping pong, and there’s also breathing. Suddenly, very weak and quiet, we hear a child’s voice feebly singing the chorus to Petra’s More Power To Ya, followed by a loud screech, an electric shock, and the phone falls to the ground. Elisabeth cries to Aaron that it was Mark, that she knows her son’s voice, and Mark always loved Petra.
Back in the forest, the rain has started pouring. The boys are yelling, shining flashlights, looking for Mark. They are encouraging each other, building each other in the faith, quoting Scripture, even as they look. Suddenly, they hear the crunching sounds of someone coming through the underbrush, they turn their flashlights, and shine their lights into the face of Dove, whose face seems to be glowing from some inward radiance, even as she is soaked in the pouring rain.