We had people in our house tonight

We had people in our house tonight.

People who are not us.

This seems momentous.

It’s the first time since January that we’ve had anyone in our apartment other than us. And while they were here, I didn’t know what to do. They were people K had invited to look at some fabrics she is selling, and for a cup of tea because she’s Kazakh. It was a couple of South African women and a little baby girl.

I literally sat in the corner and didn’t know what to do. I talked with them – one woman has an amazing story of being diagnosed with cancer but recovering – but all I could think was…

Why are people in my house?

It’s been months. Nobody has crossed the threshold of our apartment in months. And now somebody has. They’ve been here in Shenzhen the whole time like we have, odds are they aren’t carrying the virus, it should be a normal thing to have people in your house…

But I couldn’t relax. Even as I looked at a Winnie the Pooh book with the little baby girl, I couldn’t relax. All I could think was… why are there people in our house?

It should be normal. It will be normal soon. But for now, as we are coming out of this, it is absolutely not normal.

And K has invited people to our house tomorrow night as well. For dinner.

Y’alll… I’m not ready for this. I’m really not ready for this.

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