Searching for Russell Crowe

What is a groundhog doing, standing in that Noah poster where Russell Crowe is supposed to stand?

This is just my latest attempt to try to get Crowe’s or director Darren Aronofsky’s attention.  But do you know how hard it is to get the attention of a film superstar actor or director?  Here we are, all three working on projects based on the account of Noah – colleagues, so to speak – and I can’t seem to get them to acknowledge me.

We’re really not that different, really, Crowe and I.  We have both spent an inordinate amount of time these past few years thinking about the Ark and things Ark related, we both starred in major motion pictures where we portrayed Roman gladiators on the run, We’ve both also worked several times with Ron Howard on Oscar winning projects, we were both born in Wellington, New Zealand on April 7, 1964, …

Okay, so maybe those last three things aren’t true.

Still, here they have this major blockbuster motion picture coming out in just a couple of months, and I feel like there could be some synergy here.  Because Crowe and Aronofsky really need the boost of associating themselves with an unpublished author’s first attempt at a novel, right?  That would really help their film get off the ground!

Of course not.  If Russell Crowe or Darren Aronofsky decided to mention me or my book in a tweet or something, it would do nothing but benefit me.  And of course, that’s why I’m  seeking it out!  Here’s the way I see it – all three of us hard working men, trying to do what we do to the best of our ability.  Me, in my classrooms in Kazakhstan and China, them – wherever their film work has taken them.  They, of course, have enjoyed enormous commercial and public success because of their gifts and abilities.  I’ve enjoyed public success, too, but not of the “enormous” or “commercial” variety.

See what I did there? Aren’t I a clever little photoshopping novice?

But these guys are so big that my little voice hardly reaches them.  And, they have so many voices screaming at them all the time from all over the place, that I’m not sure my voice ever will be heard.  But, I’ll keep trying, and maybe one of them will actually hear at some point, and want to know more about my take on the story that they’ve also spent so much time preparing to tell.  Maybe the attention they give me might help me get the attention of a literary agent, and then we’ll see where we go from there.  Wouldn’t that be cool?

So Russell Crowe, or Darren Aronofsky, if by some miracle of God you actually notice me or my tweets, and if for some insane or crazy reason you want to know more about my first attempt at a novel, then let me know.  I’ll be glad to help give your film a boost!

Advertisement